Monday, July 28, 2014


Local Girlfriend Not Sure if her Boyfriend is Dead or Watching the Cubs Game

Local girlfriend Alyssa Snyder is unsure if her boyfriend is dead or just not responding to her text messages. “I texted him this morning at like 9 and he hasn’t responded yet. But I know that the text was delivered so I am scared.” says Alyssa, at 4:15 CT.

Her boyfriend James Tepper was last seen at the gym doing lats and triceps. Sources report that he had a good workout and was quoted as saying “NICE!” as he exited the X-Port Fitness located in the Lakeview neighborhood of Chicago.

“He usually responds within three hours. I mean, he’s a really busy guy. Seriously, I just want to know where he is and if he’s okay. He has a peanut allergy.” Snyder says of Tepper, a local beer rep for Goose Island Brewing Co.

When asked if Tepper has the “time seen” function enabled on his iMessages, Snyder responded defensively, “No. But not because he doesn’t want me to know when he reads my texts and doesn’t respond. That’s not why.” When further questioned, she said she doesn’t really know why he disabled this particular iPhone function.

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