Shout oot to all my funny friends who I sent "funny ideas" to via text message: LISTEN UP
Actual text thread:
Me: (working on a bit) "During our menses we enjoy fluting and weaving various accoutrements"
Drew: "haha"
OK. I thought my text was FUCKING hilarious and just BRILLIANT. When you send such a text, you expect the response to be IMMEDIATELY fired off, after the recipient gathers themselves after their uncontrollable laughter. You also expect the response to include as many ha's as it takes to convey the magnitude of the laugh your text caused--which, in the aforementioned case, was at LEAST 10 ha's. For all you ignoramuses, here is a breakdown of the proper text laugh conveyance etiquette (begrudging sigh and hair flip):
ONE HA: Not funny. As in, after you hear a Larry the Cable Guy joke, you say, "Ha." Meaning, I see how that would be funny if I was a redneck idiot in West Virginia and I was sitting on the couch enjoying a Coors Light after a laborious day at the metal scrap yard.
TWO HA's: Not funny, but B for effort. As in, when you're 8th grade English teacher made an unintentional joke when you were reading Chapter 3 of The Diary of Anne Frank. As she was sitting at her desk, she went to put her blazer on, and said, "Ok, turn to page 78 of The Diary of Ann Taylor." You said "haha" meaning, Mrs. Dasher, you're so fucking cute, and the fact that you could confuse Anne Frank with Ann Taylor makes me love you even more.
THREE HA's: An inquisitive laugh, beckoning the question, "Was that funny? I think so but I don't want to get ahead of myself with...
FOUR HA's: That's funny! hahahaha is the type of response where you can give yourself a pat on the back.
FIVE HA's: hahahahaha means YOU FUCKING KILL ME.
SIX + HA's: It's time to send your text to Twitterville, you hilarious comedian you!
**Also, if you capitalize any of the ha's, it bumps the meaning up to another ha without having to add the next ha. So, a three ha's, if capitalized, is really a four ha's. If a five ha's is capitalized, the sender is saying I JUST SHIT MY PANTS.
So, Drew, I love you, but you can take your two ha's and go fuck yourself with them! K THANX BYE!!
Actual text thread:
Me: (working on a bit) "During our menses we enjoy fluting and weaving various accoutrements"
Drew: "haha"
OK. I thought my text was FUCKING hilarious and just BRILLIANT. When you send such a text, you expect the response to be IMMEDIATELY fired off, after the recipient gathers themselves after their uncontrollable laughter. You also expect the response to include as many ha's as it takes to convey the magnitude of the laugh your text caused--which, in the aforementioned case, was at LEAST 10 ha's. For all you ignoramuses, here is a breakdown of the proper text laugh conveyance etiquette (begrudging sigh and hair flip):
ONE HA: Not funny. As in, after you hear a Larry the Cable Guy joke, you say, "Ha." Meaning, I see how that would be funny if I was a redneck idiot in West Virginia and I was sitting on the couch enjoying a Coors Light after a laborious day at the metal scrap yard.
TWO HA's: Not funny, but B for effort. As in, when you're 8th grade English teacher made an unintentional joke when you were reading Chapter 3 of The Diary of Anne Frank. As she was sitting at her desk, she went to put her blazer on, and said, "Ok, turn to page 78 of The Diary of Ann Taylor." You said "haha" meaning, Mrs. Dasher, you're so fucking cute, and the fact that you could confuse Anne Frank with Ann Taylor makes me love you even more.
THREE HA's: An inquisitive laugh, beckoning the question, "Was that funny? I think so but I don't want to get ahead of myself with...
FOUR HA's: That's funny! hahahaha is the type of response where you can give yourself a pat on the back.
FIVE HA's: hahahahaha means YOU FUCKING KILL ME.
SIX + HA's: It's time to send your text to Twitterville, you hilarious comedian you!
**Also, if you capitalize any of the ha's, it bumps the meaning up to another ha without having to add the next ha. So, a three ha's, if capitalized, is really a four ha's. If a five ha's is capitalized, the sender is saying I JUST SHIT MY PANTS.
So, Drew, I love you, but you can take your two ha's and go fuck yourself with them! K THANX BYE!!
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