Saturday, November 26, 2011

The Book of Blog (Old Testament)

Guten morgen mother fuckers!  I'm still full from Thanksgiving.  I am envious of people who ate like normal humanoids on Thanksgiving, but, when you are a fattie like me, Thanksgiving is an exercise in HOW MUCH CAN I EAT BEFORE I DIE.  So fuck all y'all skinny ass hoes.
Last night, Drew and I went to see Breaking Dawn.  We fled the Davis Theatre after Jacob saw Bella's pregant bod.  We left because a) were were hungry, b) we weren't thrilled by the movie, c) we were only there to see the f*cking and d) we were hungry.  (When a Jew realizes he/she is hungry, they can think of nothing besides how/where/what they are going to shove in their face.)  How did I feel about bailing on this cinematic master piece, you ask?  I was a mix of emotions.  I was proud that I felt like a smart, mature Lady who felt above Breaking Dawn,  I was a bit fearful that I might be missing a SUPERB ending that righted the wrongs of the boring, repressed, TOO dramatic opening half hour, and excited about the Indian food I was going to eat.
After the excitement of last night, feeling like a newly mature feminist woman who is above the Mormon fueled bullshit of Breaking Dawn, I am thinking about a few things this morning.  1) I want to be skinny, and 2) I think what the world needs now is my insight into the world via a blog.  What is a blog, you ask?  A blog is a self indulgent little diddy on the world wide web where one person, thinking their input on daily life is SO important that it must be given a sacred space on the internet, writes about things.  I will write about important things.  My blog will be like New York Magazine, give and take a few sections.  What will be here:
1) Things I Eat
2) Things I See
3) Things I Feel
4) Things I Smell (i.e., farts)
5) Things I Create
6) Interviews/guest posts by various Personalities

What Won't Be Here
1) Political Views
2) Intellectual musings
3) Anything unrelated to my personal/professional life...because, I only care about MY life.

So grab onto your balls and get ready for some good old fashioned bloggin, y'all!

1 comment:

  1. very good ay-as soon as i figure out how to ad a pic of an epic dump i once took i'll have it front and center, then i'd like to hear thoughts on it

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